The book has been open for half an hour. You have read the same page, answered a message, looked up a word and remembered the empty fridge. Then comes the thought: at my age, I should already know what I am doing with my life.
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You have an idea, and your face changes when you discuss it with the right person. Details come to mind, possibilities, things you would love to learn. Then come the costs, the lack of time, the fear of sounding naive. The idea goes back into a drawer, but every so often it makes itself heard.
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The door is closed. The argument has ended, at least aloud. Inside, you are still replaying it: the sentence you never meant to say, your tone, the silence afterwards. “I was tired” may be true. It does not erase what happened. You can bring this less presentable moment to God as honestly as any other part of your day.
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The pizza is resting on a moving box. You found two plates, but the mugs went into something labelled “miscellaneous”: a word that now seems rather unhelpful. Your new home feels wonderful and strange. Even the noises sound different.
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Have you packed the charger? Is your identity document in the right pocket? The suitcase lies open on the bed and something always seems missing, however often you check. Meanwhile you think of the person collecting you, the one you will say goodbye to, a conversation you may finally have time for.
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The family group is deciding when to meet. You check your shift. You already know you will arrive late, or will not be there this time. You prepare to leave while others can still sleep. You may not feel sad: perhaps you love your work. But today you also wish for a whole holiday of your own.
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Your phone lights up early. The first message arrived at midnight; another includes a photograph you hoped had disappeared forever. Someone calls while you are having breakfast. Somebody remembers the date without needing a reminder and, with very few words, makes you feel thought of.
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Your clothes have been on the chair since before dinner. You have checked the time, the route and how much extra time to allow. You told yourself you would stop thinking about it now. Ten minutes later you are looking up the address again, as though it might have moved during the evening.
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You want to say their name when something funny happens. When you pass a place you knew together. When some news makes you think you would have known exactly whom to call. Sometimes you actually say it, almost before noticing.
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You have written it all, including the sentence you know will hurt. Added a full stop, deleted an emoji, read it again. Part of you thinks they will finally understand. Another part knows you will immediately start checking whether they have read it.
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The message begins with "sorry." Soon after, though, you're already preparing an explanation. An original prayer to recognize one's part and seek a gesture of reparation.
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Something to warm up, two dishes to take, the day still on. An original prayer to sit at the table with a little gratitude and space for others.
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His birthday's still on the phone. Once upon a time you would have called her immediately. Today you can entrust to God the good you wanted and what remains difficult.
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Before you even get up, you've already opened three messages and thought of five things to do. Let's stop for a moment, in the morning that there really is.
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The result is available. The finger stays on the screen. At that moment you can look for a friendly voice and find words to pray.
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You don’t have to tell everything in order. An original CHIARA! prayer for evenings when all you can do is stop.
READ THE STORY ↗Lord, help me notice one beautiful thing and listen to someone today.
Jesus, give me the patience to begin again and the courage to ask for help.
God, guide my work today. Help me choose a kind and practical action.
Lord, I bring you what I could not put into words today. Stay with those who feel alone.
Mary, accompany those who are grieving. Help us offer a presence that does not rush their pain.
God, I entrust the people I love to you. Help me rest and start again tomorrow.
Let nothing disturb you, let nothing frighten you. All things pass; God does not change. Patience obtains all things. Whoever has God lacks nothing: God alone suffices.