SAINT PHILIP NERI: FAITH KNOWS HOW TO LAUGH TOO!

Laughter runs away from you at the most convenient time. Cross a friend's gaze and you have to lower your eyes, because you both know it takes a second to start over. Then you're gonna make it up to yourself: Is it possible I can't be serious here, either?

Sometimes we imagine faith as a place to enter after lowering the volume of our personality. Off with the jokes, away with the enthusiasm, away with the kind of funny way to tell things. As if the depth always had a thoughtful face.

Saint Philip Neri accompanies us to a more interesting question: what can be born when a community of believers also knows how to be well together? The answer is about how we welcome, listen and let people breathe.

A friendship that opened the door

In the message of 26 May 2015, written for the fifth centenary of his birth, Pope Francis recalls the human warmth of Philip Neri, his joy and friendship as the way of encounter with Christ. He tells of a spirituality in which they found place the shared play and prayer, together with a serious Christian formation.

The Oratory included listening to the Word, sacraments and charity. The smile, therefore, belonged to an experience of concrete faith. It was not an addition to make something more pleasant that underneath remained foreign to life.

This trait of Philip can speak to our communities: how do you feel about a person entering for the first time? Do you find someone who asks you for the name? Do you understand where to sit? Can you ask a question without fear of an annoyed answer?

Good humor also starts from how you make room

Imagine a dinner organized in the parish. There are those who have known each other for years, those who always have the joke ready and those who come alone. It's easy to continue the conversation and leave the new arrival with the glass in hand, waiting to figure out how to fit in.

A gesture can change that moment: introduce it, move a chair, explain a joke that would otherwise only understand historical friends. The joyful climate is also built in this way, making sure that others can participate.

This does not require becoming expansive people on command. Even those who speak little can welcome with attention. A sincere smile, a simple question and time to listen to the answer can make it less tiring to feel new.

Laughing together without choosing a victim

Not all laughter do the same good. There are jokes that come up and others that need someone to embarrass them. A person laughs with the group, but maybe he's just trying not to be hurt.

The useful question is concrete: if the subject of the joke were here, could he feel respected? And if he's already here, do you really have the freedom to say he doesn't like it? The fact that a joke always worked doesn't make us keep using it.

You can be spiritual without commenting on someone's body, accent or fragility. You may also recognize that you have exaggerated and changed the register. The joy of a meeting becomes more free when no one has to defend himself in order to remain in the group.

And when you don't want to laugh?

There are days when the idea of having a weary party even before we go out. You don't need to measure your faith from the willingness to smile. Christian joy can live with fatigue; it does not coincide with an emotion to be kept always high.

In a community capable of loving one another, you can come in silence. You can say you prefer to listen today. You can laugh for ten minutes and then come back sad without fooling anyone: an evening contains more than one feeling.

The reflection we propose starting from Filippo Neri concerns precisely this possibility: to build places where faith makes people more willing to meet, each with the day they have lived. A party becomes hospitable when it knows how to respect even those who remain a bit on the margins.

A really nice thing to organize

You could propose a walk, a simple lunch, a team game or an afternoon of music. Before thinking about the special effect, look who could participate and what would make the meeting accessible: the times, the cost, the movements, the possibility of sitting.

If you organize it in a context of faith, you can leave room for a short prayer, understandable, without turning every conversation into a lesson. People also need time to get to know each other and tell each other.

Maybe you'll come home with a joke to remember and a name learned. Maybe someone who was afraid of feeling out of place will want to come back. The smile will have done something very concrete: it will have opened a door to a meeting.

Saint Philip Neri in the Calendar of Saints