SISTER TOSCA WAS A POLICE OFFICER. A HUG SHE REFUSED LEFT HER WITH A QUESTION.
Sometimes a question begins long after an encounter. A scene returns while you are doing something else; a word keeps working within you. You notice that the way you responded says something about you. And you do not want to turn away.
Before religious life, Tosca worked for Italy’s State Police. In her public account she returns to one scene: a frightened boy and an answer she kept thinking about long after her shift.
The request that stayed with her
Tosca recalls watching over a minor who had committed a theft at Torpignattara police station in Rome. He was frightened and crying, and asked her for a hug.
She says she refused, thinking about being in uniform. Back home, she questioned what she was becoming. Tosca speaks about her own reaction and what the encounter stirred within her. This is a personal recollection, not a description of a professional police rule.
The account connects this questioning with discernment and, later, entering the Apostoline sisters, the Queen of Apostles Institute. Tosca recognises a common thread across the different stages of her life: the desire to care for others.
A vocation story cannot be reduced to one scene
The account may touch us precisely because it is concrete. But turning it into a story with a single dividing line—harshness before, goodness afterwards—would be unfair. Her testimony itself recognises continuity in her wish to serve.
Understanding a vocation requires space for time, relationships and personal freedom. An encounter can open a question without immediately providing every answer. For those hearing her story, it can be a chance to look within without pretending we have lived her experience.
We too may struggle to recognise ourselves in a reply we gave. A colleague wanted listening and we were in a hurry. A family member sought closeness and we answered only practically. Noticing this need not become a permanent condemnation of our character.
We can return to a reply
Perhaps we can find that person, acknowledge our haste and ask how they are. If that is impossible, we can still look honestly at what the encounter revealed. What fear guided us? What did we fail to understand? What real boundary did we need to respect?
Caring does not mean granting every request. Responsibilities, professional contexts and necessary boundaries exist. Even an affectionate gesture must respect the freedom and safety of the person receiving it. The question concerns our actions and the attention with which we recognise a person.
In Catholic faith, discerning our path includes prayer, conversation and careful testing. Not every intense emotion is a call to change our lives. Sometimes the next step concerns how we return tomorrow to commitments we already have.
Listen to her voice without replacing it
In the Siamo Noi video from 8 June 2017, you can hear Tosca tell her story. Take a moment with her voice and the way she remembers that turning point.
Her voice brings us back to where we began: the small distance between the reply we gave and the closeness we wished to offer. Our paths will not all resemble hers. Her story can still accompany us as we seek our own.
When you remember an answer you wish you had given differently, what were you trying to protect? What small gesture might bring you closer to the person you want to be? You do not need to build an extraordinary story immediately. Begin by looking more attentively at the person before you today.
Source: TV2000 ↗
