GIOVANNI ALLEVI: THE PRIEST HE NEVER AGREED WITH.

You know that person that a conversation never really ends with? You think differently, you ask questions, at some point you greet each other and neither convinced the other. And yet, after a few days, come back and talk to you. There is something in that connection that applies even when the agreement does not arrive.

Giovanni Allevi spoke about his faith with Sabina Fadel in an interview for Messaggero di Sant’Antonio, published on 7 July 2021 and updated the next day. At the heart of his account is a friend: don Mauro.

Allevi tells that at twenty years old he was an atheist and studied philosophy. Don Mauro, a little older, taught theology and was a parish priest close to the young. Their discussions remained unsatisfied. Then the priest died in a car accident. In time, after the pain, Allevi recognized in himself a faith that he described as an inheritance received from his friend, along with his passion for people.

This is the core of the public witness to which we refer. CHIARA! has not interviewed Allevi: let's resume that story by attributing it to its source. From here comes our own question, to be brought into daily life: what can remain of a friendship even when his conversations seemed to have changed nothing?

The person you haven't solved every argument with

There are reports where disagreement becomes a threat immediately. If you don't think like me, you're rejecting me. If you keep asking me questions, you don't respect me. So a conversation about what matters can end up measuring how similar we are, rather than making ourselves known better.

The memory of a friendship may suggest another question: what do I appreciate about this person, even where I do not share his position? The way he listens, the consistency of a gesture, the care he shows to someone? We can recognize a good without having closed every issue.

This does not make differences irrelevant. A religious conviction touches the way of looking at life, of hoping, of choosing. To take it seriously also means to be able to discuss it. For those who believe, telling their faith clearly can live with respect for the times and questions of the other.

When you'd like to find the decisive words

Maybe you have a loved one who doesn't believe. You care so much about her that every conversation seems like an opportunity not to be missed. Prepare arguments, look for the right phrase, fear not being able to explain well enough what is fundamental to you.

It is an understandable desire, but it can load the friendship of a continuous expectation. The other person is in danger of feeling a result to be achieved. And you may not see all the good in the report anymore, because you're waiting for it to come to a definite conclusion.

We can talk about God and then let the friendship continue with his other parts: taking an interest in the day, remembering an appointment, being in a difficult situation. The credibility of a presence is not built only as we face the religious theme. Even the freedom we leave to the other says something about our way of loving.

Grieving does not have a mandatory outcome

In recounting a faith matured after a loss serves delicacy. The meaning that a person recognizes in his own path belongs to him. We cannot use it to explain why a death has occurred or to tell those who suffer what transformation should result.

Those who go through mourning can find comfort in prayer, feel away from God, alternate gratitude and anger. The testimony of another person may accompany this time, but it does not impose a path on him. Listening to her does not force you to feel the same emotions or to recognize yourself immediately in her words.

If you lack friendship, you can even just name it. Telling a memory to someone who can listen. Pray for that person if you wish. Seek support when the pain weighs. You don't have to prove that you took a lesson in order to be entitled to the closeness of others.

What we continue to bring

What gesture of a friend do you realize to repeat? What question of a loved one comes to mind when you have to choose? Sometimes we only recognize what we have received in a report after a long time. A presence may remain in the way we listen or in the sensitivity with which we look at someone.

As believers we can also entrust to God this discreet inheritance: the well-recognized, the things left unfinished, the words that we would have liked to say better. The Catholic faith gives space to personal and community prayer; however, the history of each one retains a rhythm that no journalistic profile can fully summarize.

Maybe after this reading is over, you'll think of a conversation to pick up. You could look for someone you don't agree with and ask her how she's doing. Without preparing a conclusion. With the curiosity of listening again: sometimes a friendship keeps telling us something just because we agreed not to solve it in one night.